"It's Time To Relax."
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." – Frank Tibolt
I haven't been writing lately.
(pause)
I take that back. I write quite a bit in my head but it's not making it onto paper or screen. By the time I find myself in the vicinity of paper or screen whatever I was writing is already lost. Then I have those moments I begin to write... teeter off and forget about it. Those are also *quite* common. In the past week alone I have started to write about interns, canine diabetes, people leaving, cleaning up my mind's clutter, Chicago street festivals, and on and on. Somehow these thoughts are never fully realized and just left for dead in my gmail drafts. Oh poor gmail drafts of half baked ideas... one day your insufficient words may be glued together. Maybe not.
My problem is that I feel overwhelmed with life lately. When my life is messy, my mind is scattered. I make my life rather busy and chaotic but then here I sit feeling distressed by its unruliness. When I try to take a break and give myself some time to recharge, other people request things of me and I get snarky. Can't you see I need some time to myself? No, they can't because I never say "nope, i can't help you right now. i am trying to relax." Relax seems to have gotten lost in my vocabulary... even when the events I am trying to manage are in essence relaxing (i.e. busy schedules of meeting friends at street festivals, cafes, bars, etc).
I walked into Small Bar last night to meet up with a friend. As I took in the AC after a longish walk in the 90˙ heat I glanced about for my monkeyfriend. A dreadlocked guy at the bar who looked the picture of leisure approached me and asked "Can I help you? You look way too stressed for a Friday afternoon. You need a drink? It's time to relax."