Headphones On

In a rare case of pathognomonic telepathy, I have determined the cause of my illness. I know, will wonders never cease? I've decided that if you know your way around a hospital marketing department, you are qualified to diagnose your own medical conditions.

I've narrowed my problem down based upon a simple observation. When I lay down (read: bed, couch, bathtub) I feel fine (even with an 800 page novel propped on my tummy... well not in the bathtub silly, the pages would get all wet). When I sit upright (read: work, public transit, life) I feel incredibly near puking. Therefore, my stomach is allergic to working! Well, I can't I tell you what a relief this is. Now that I can just take care of that really quickly with...

Oh wait... there's no way in the world I can get out of sitting upright for the rest of my life. I guess I'm back to square one. And no, I've not actually gone to the doctor (doctors ick!). I've decided that by ignoring the feeling on the el (aided by incredibly loud music pumping through my headphones) and leaving a garbage can next to my desk while I work, I can suffer through quite admirably. See, no reason to go through ages of school like my father to get that Dr. at the end of my name... I've got a medical creative commons license¹.

¹ Actually, I haven't. As much as I appreciate Lawrence Lessig's work I've never actually applied. I should get right on that though if it can help me beat the nausea. It's probably a better idea than constantly sipping cups of green tea and expensive imported mineral water.
² I know, there's no actual #2 footnote in my text but I thought I'd take this opportunity to make one up and tell you to visit Little Elpees to get yourself some damn fine Skippyaction and some tunes you know you've never heard but should have.
³ If you don't know what Skippyaction is, yer missing out.